Broken Arm Blues
by Roxanne Kowalchuk
Summary: Sam breaks her arm in the most unusual way.


TITLE: Broken Arm Blues   
AUTHOR: Roxanne   
EMAIL: roxette@ilos.net   
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack; humor   
SPOILERS: None   
RATING: PG   
CONTENT WARNINGS: Language   
SUMMARY: Sam breaks her arm in the most unusual way.   
STATUS: Complete   
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis   
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom,  
MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for  
entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright  
infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the  
authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story was an answer to a challenge posted on the Samandjack list.  
  
**********  
Sitting on the floor of the shower, Sam cursed under her breath. If only she had been paying  
attention to where she was going, she would have seen the bar of soap. Cradling her now broken  
arm in her other one, she once again cursed when she realized that she had to some how get up,  
turn the water off, get dress and head down to the infirmary to see Janet. "Some predicament you  
got yourself into," she told herself as she looked around.   
  
Okay she could yell for help, but she didn't want to be seen by the guys or any of the guys for  
that matter. So instead, she held onto her arm where it didn't hurt and got up. As she turned to  
close the water, she yelped when the water hit her arm. "Shit!" Turning away from the water, she  
first closed the hot then the cold. Shivering, she next moved to where she had hung her towel.  
Wrapping it around herself the best she could, she finally made her way to her locker. Dressing  
herself, would be a new experience for her. She was only doing it with one arm.   
  
*****  
  
"Janet?"   
  
"Over here Sam."   
  
Walking deeper into the infirmary, Sam looked around. When she spotted Janet, she cautiously  
asked a question. "We alone?"   
  
"Yes of course," Janet answered as she looked up from what she was doing. "Why do you  
ask?"   
  
"Because," Sam replied as she carefully got up on an empty bed.   
  
"Sam, what's wrong with you?"   
  
"Oh Janet, you're not going to believe this when I tell you," Sam answered as she let out a  
deep sigh.   
  
"Well try me," Janet told Sam.   
  
"All right," Sam begun. " I was in the shower and I accidentally slipped on a bar of soap that  
was on the floor."   
  
Putting a hand up, Janet stopped her. "You aren't telling me what I think you're telling me, are  
you?"   
  
"If it's along the line of me breaking my right arm, yes."   
  
"Yes it is," Janet replied as she undid Sam's shirt. "I'll get you a gown."   
  
"Thanks Janet."  
  
*****  
  
"Hey Danny."   
  
"Hi Jack," Daniel said as he took his glasses off and cleaned them.   
  
"You seem to be in a good mood."   
  
"Oh ya, I am," Jack explained.   
  
"Do I dare ask why?" Daniel questioned.   
  
"We may have an exploration assignment," Jack answered. Exploration assignments were a tad  
boring, yes he had to admit that but at least on them they didn't have to fight the Goa'ulds. "Say  
Danny, haven't you see Carter?"   
  
"Nope. Sorry. Maybe Janet has," Daniel replied as he put his glasses back on.   
  
"Okay thanks," Jack said as he wandered off, leaving Daniel just to stare at him in disbelief.   
  
*****  
  
"Okay we have to do this without hurting you even more," Janet told Sam as she laid the gown  
down beside her on the bed.   
  
"That's easier said then done," Sam told her.   
  
  
"I've noticed."   
  
*****  
  
Just as Janet and Sam figured out how not to hurt her, Jack wandered in. "Hey doc."   
  
"Colonel."   
  
Looking up, Jack stopped. There in front of him was Janet a person who's back was bare and  
on the bed in front of her. "Woo. Ah sorry."   
  
"Turn around Jack," Sam told him as she watched Janet's facial expressions.   
  
"Carter?" Jack asked as he did as she had told him.   
  
"What do you want, sir?" she asked as Janet put the gown on her.   
  
"Ah, I was actually coming to ask Doctor Fraiser if she knew where you were," Jack admitted.  
"But I think I got my own answer. What are you doing here, Carter?"   
  
"It's a long story, sir," Sam answered as Janet rounded the bed and did the gown up.   
  
"Lie back, Sam," Janet instructed.   
  
"Sure," Sam said as she did what Janet had asked. She was just in no mood to argue. Her arm  
hurt like hell. "You can turn around now, sir."   
  
First peeking over his shoulder, Jack then turned completely around.   
  
Walking over to the bed, he stood on the left side as Janet was standing on the right side.  
Eyeing her arm, he came to a conclusion, but asked a question instead. "Did you break your right  
arm?"   
  
"Yes, sir. I did," Sam admitted as she looked up at the ceiling.   
  
"How?"   
  
"I told you it was a long story," she repeated, hoping she won't have to tell him.   
  
"Well I just got this feeling that we aren't going to be going anywhere, so you can tell me,"  
Jack explained as he saw the assignment go down the wormhole.   
  
"It's a simple fracture, Sam. But I still want to take an x-ray," Janet sort of interrupted.   
  
"Sure," Sam replied as she slowly got up.   
  
Watching her stop, Jack put his hand on her back. "Take it easy, Carter. Don't pass out on  
me."   
  
"I won't sir," Sam replied as she got up, cradled her now splinted arm and followed Janet.   
  
"We'll be back, Colonel."   
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Jack told both ladies.   
  
*****  
  
Sitting on the bed, dangling his legs over the side, Jack never heard Sam come up behind him.  
He actually jumped when she touched him.   
  
"Sorry, sir."   
  
"No problem," Jack replied as he got off the bed and helped her get on.   
  
"You okay?"   
  
"It's just a simple hairline fracture," Sam told him.   
  
"All right, but are you really okay?" Jack repeated.   
  
"I'm fine, or I'll be fine. Breaking my arm is just hitting me now," Sam admitted as she leaned  
back and placed her arm over her chest.   
  
"Where's Janet?" Jack asked as he looked around the room for her.   
  
"Gone to get the supplies to put a cast on me," Sam answered as she shivered.   
  
"You cold?"   
  
"Ya. I didn't have time to take a warm shower," Sam replied.   
  
"A warm shower?" Jack questioned.   
  
Mentally kicking herself for saying that, Sam tried to change the subject. "I wonder if Janet has  
any blankets."   
  
"You broke your arm in the shower?" Jack asked as he didn't drop the subject.   
  
Looking over to Jack, Sam nicely threatened him. "If you tell anyone in this mountain, so help  
me, I will hurt you."   
  
Sticking up three fingers on his right hand, Jack spoke. "Scouts honor. I won't tell a soul."   
  
"Good," Sam said as she watched him lower his hand.   
  
"How exactly did you break it?" Jack continued.   
  
Shivering again, Sam was in no mood to argue with him, so she just answered him. "I slipped  
on a bar of soap."   
  
"Ouch!" Jack said as Janet came back into the room wheeling a trolley.   
  
"Hey Doc, do you have any warm blankets?"   
  
Stopping beside the bed, Janet gently took Sam's arm in hers. "Yes in the warmer," she said as  
she placed Sam's arm on top of the trolley. "I promise not to hurt you."   
  
"Sure," Sam said as she watched Jack walk across the room.   
  
Placing his hand on a closet, Jack checked to see if it was warm. When it was, he opened it up  
and took a few blankets out. Next he took them back to Sam. Stopping beside the bed, he  
dropped them on the edge of the bed.   
  
Taking the first one, he unfolded it and put it over top of her. "Warm?"   
  
"No, not yet," Sam admitted.   
  
"Okay," Jack replied as he unfolded the second one and placed it over her. "Now?"   
  
"Nope."   
  
Unfolding the last one, he placed it over her. This time around, he tucked her in completely.  
When he got to her neck, he bent down and spoke. "Now you're as snug as a bug in a rug."   
  
Stopping what she was doing, Janet peered over at him. But she never said a word. She just  
took a look at him and turned back to wrapping Sam's arm.   
  
Smiling, Sam spoke to Jack. "Yes I am. Thank you."   
  
"No problem. Look I have to go talk to General Hammond, I'll be back in a bit, okay?" Jack  
said as he stood up.   
  
"Sure, I'll be here," Sam replied as she smiled up at him.   
  
"Okay, see you ladies in a bit," Jack said as he left Sam's bed and walked out of the infirmary.   
  
*****  
  
"Major Carter broke her arm?" General Hammond questioned. "How?"   
  
"Yes sir, she did and how, I'm not sure," Jack told him. Half telling the truth and half lying.  
"She won't tell me how, sir."   
  
"I see. Where is she now?"   
  
"In with Doctor Fraiser, sir."   
  
"All right then, until Doctor Fraiser gives her the go ahead to return to active duty, SG-1 is on  
leave," General Hammond told Jack. "Do you have a problem with that Colonel?"   
  
"No sir, I don't."   
  
"All right then, dismissed."   
  
*****  
  
"Hey doc, how's your newest patient doing?" Jack asked as he walked into the infirmary.   
  
"I'm doing better, Jack. Ah, sir," Sam told him from where she was.   
  
Walking over to her, he smiled. "All warm now?"   
  
"Yes," Sam said as she struggled with the buttons on her shirt.   
  
Walking in front of her, Jack did the buttons up for her. He never even bothered to ask. He  
just did them up. "Doc letting you go already?"   
  
Watching Jack button her shirt up, Sam answered. "Yes, she said I'm free to go but I have to  
take it easy."   
  
"Well ya, you have a broken arm," Jack said as he finished buttoning her up. Looking up, he  
looked into her eyes. "Sorry."   
  
"That's okay, I needed the help," Sam replied with a smile. "So what did General Hammond  
say?"   
  
Walking with her out the door, Jack answered. "SG-1 is on leave until Janet gives you the go  
ahead to return."   
  
"So you have to wait for me?" Sam asked.   
  
"I won't have it any other way," Jack told her, truthfully.   
  
"Thanks," Sam replied with a smile.   
  
*****  
  
"Give me back my tape, you stupid VCR!" Sam yelled at it as she pounded with her good  
hand. "You're suppose to play the tape, not eat it!"   
  
Watching her from the door way to the lounge, Jack was enjoying himself. He had first gone  
to her quarters but quickly learned she wasn't there. The next spot he looked, he found her.  
Leaning up against the door frame, Jack had stuck his hands in his pockets and was now enjoying  
watching Sam beat the crap out of the VCR. "Problems Major?"   
  
Raising her hand to pound the VCR, Sam stopped before hitting it and looked over to Jack.  
"This stupid piece of junk ate my tape."   
  
"Maybe it didn't like the taste of the tape," Jack joked.   
  
Rolling her eyes, Sam looked away from Jack and back down at the VCR.   
  
Bringing her hand down, she pounded the VCR again. She was in no mood for Jack's humor.  
She just wanted her tape.   
  
"Woo! Hang on," Jack said as he quickly took his hands out of his pockets and moved away  
from the door frame. Walking to her, Jack grabbed a hold of her good hand. "If you keep it up,  
you may end up with not one but two casts."   
  
"I don't care. I just want my tape back," Sam replied as Jack let go of her hand.   
  
Squatting down Jack took a look at the VCR. Opening the door, he looked inside. "Oh ya, it  
ate it. Big time."   
  
"Thanks," Sam mumbled.   
  
Standing back up, Jack apologized. "Sorry Carter but your tape is gone."   
  
"Great! Just great! First I break my arm by slipping on a bar of soap and now this stupid VCR  
eats my favorite movie. What else could go wrong?"   
  
"You better not ask that question," Jack warned.   
  
"Ya, whatever," Sam replied as she wandered over to the couch. "All I was going to do was sit  
down, watch a movie and eat my tootsie rolls."   
  
"Tootsie rolls?" Jack questioned as he had turned around and faced her.   
  
"Yes. These things," Sam answered as she held one up. "I was going to have some pepperoni  
but I couldn't find any."   
  
Arching an eyebrow, Jack just had to ask. "Pepperoni?"   
  
"Yes, pepperoni. You've had to have seen it before. It's about this big and this wide," Sam  
explained as she used her hands to describe it. "It's meat, sir."   
  
After watching her describe the pepperoni with her hands, Jack had to remain calm. Once his  
mind settled down, he quickly answered her. "Yes, I know what it is." A person, as himself or  
anyone else, could take that answer in another way, shape or form exactly like how his mind did.   
  
"But I think Daniel ate it."   
  
Scrambling to get his mind out of the gutter, Jack changed the subject. "Carter, what tape did  
the VCR eat?"   
  
Smiling to herself, Sam knew exactly where Jack's mind was. That was because her mind was  
already there too. "Runaway Bride, sir."   
  
"Runaway Bride?" Jack asked.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Who's in it?" Jack asked again as he sat down on the couch beside her.   
  
Watching him play with a tootsie roll , Sam sort of answered him. "Don't go out much, sir."   
  
Looking over to Sam, Jack spoke. "Carter, I'm an Air Force Colonel."   
  
"So?"   
  
Seeing she didn't accept that answer, he gave her the real one. "Okay, so I couldn't find a date.  
Who's in the movie?"   
  
Smiling, Sam couldn't help but say it. "I'll be your date, anytime."   
  
"Thanks," Jack replied with a smile.   
  
Watching him unwrap a tootsie roll, Sam finally answered his other question. "Richard Gere  
and Julia Roberts are in it."   
  
  
Forgetting his original question, Jack turned to her just as he popped a tootsie roll into his   
mouth. "Tulia Oberts?"   
  
"What?" Sam questioned as she didn't understand him.   
  
Quickly eating the tootsie roll, Jack repeated what he had just said. "I said Julia Roberts."   
  
"Oh. Ya, her and Gere worked together again. They haven't work together since Pretty  
Woman," Sam explained. "But I may never get to watch it, again."   
  
Watching Sam pick up a tootsie roll and throw it at the VCR, well try to, Jack spoke up. "Hey  
don't waste a perfectly good tootsie roll."   
  
Getting up, Sam walked back to the VCR. Pounding it again, she sighed deeply. "Ugh!"   
  
"Sam, I'll buy you a new tape."   
  
"Thanks," Sam replied as she walked away from the VCR and joined Jack on the couch, once  
again.   
  
Looking around the room, Jack got up from the couch and headed over to the desk. "You up  
to playing some cards."   
  
"Not really."   
  
"Okay,"Jack said as he picked up a pad of paper and two markers. Heading back to the couch,  
he sat down beside her. "Tic tac toe?"   
  
Having watched Jack get up, go to the desk and come back, she questioned him as he handed  
her a marker. "Tic tac toe?"   
  
"Yup. You play it with X's and O's."   
  
"I know what it is," Sam replied as she gave him a roll of her eyes.   
  
Ignoring her roll of her eyes, Jack continued on. "So you wanna be the X or the O?"   
  
"O," Sam answered as Jack placed the pad of paper between them and drew a grid. "Wait a  
sec."   
  
Looking up, Jack questioned her. "What?"   
  
"I don't really wanna play."   
  
"Oh come on. You can't go into your lab and play with your do-hickey's," Jack pointed out.   
  
Turning side ways on the couch, Sam crossed her legs and outstretched her left arm to Jack.  
"Could you please open my marker?" Jack was right, she couldn't go into her lab. She only had  
one good arm.   
  
Pulling the lid off her marker for her, Jack dropped it on the table.   
  
"Ladies first," he replied as he looked back to her.   
  
Looking down at the grid before them, Sam put an O, well what appeared to be an O, on the  
top corner. "No cheating."   
  
Putting an X in the centre, Jack peeked up at Sam. "How can you cheat in tic tac toe?"   
  
"I don't know," Sam admitted as she put an O in the other top corner.   
  
Blocking her line, Jack put an X in the top middle. "Trust me, I won't."   
  
"Good," Sam said as she put an O on the bottom of the middle row.   
  
"I try my best," Jack added as he put an X below her O.   
  
"Oh I know you will," Sam said as she blocked him as she put an O under her's.   
  
Blocking her off, Jack put an X under her O. "Of course I will."   
  
Putting an O in the last spot on the grid, Sam looked up and saw his goofy grin. Looking  
down, she connected all her O's. "I win."   
  
Looking down then back up, Jack quickly questioned her. "You win? How?"   
  
Looking up, Sam looked into his eyes. "I have five O's and you have four X's."   
  
"So what, you don't win like that," Jack told her. "Who's cheating now?"   
  
"But they use to do that on Hollywood Squares," Sam tried.   
  
"This isn't Hollywood Squares, Sam."   
  
"So?"   
  
"Rematch?" Jack offered as he looked deeply into her eyes.   
  
"Sure," Sam accepted she returned the looked.   
  
  
But he didn't flip to a new page, instead he planted his hand down on the pad of paper and  
leaned forward.   
  
Sam, on the other side of the pad of paper, also leaned forward.   
  
Leaning closer, Jack closed his eyes as he felt his lips touch her's.   
  
As soon as she felt her lips touch his, she closed her eyes and let the beginning of a wonderful  
kiss happen.   
  
"Sam?!"   
  
Pulling back quickly, Sam swore under her breath as she hit her elbow of her broken arm on  
the arm of the couch.   
  
Also having no choice but to pull back, Jack also swore under his breath but it was for a  
different reason.   
  
"Sam?"   
  
"I'm here Daniel," Sam finally answered.   
  
Spotting Jack, Daniel first spoke to him. "Hey Jack." But quickly moved onto Sam. Stopping  
behind the couch, he continued. "It is true, Sam?"   
  
"What's true, Daniel?" Sam just had to ask. She knew what he was referring too. But asked  
for the fun of it.   
  
"Your arm. You did break it?" Daniel concluded as he saw the sling.   
  
"Yes Daniel, I did," Sam told him as she watched Jack make a face.   
  
Turning back to Jack, Daniel finally spoke more than two words to him. "So are we going out  
without her?"   
  
"Hello to you too, Daniel," Jack started as he rubbed his forehead. "No, SG-1 isn't going  
anywhere."   
  
"We're not?"   
  
"Nope. We're on leave till Dr. Fraiser gives Carter the go ahead," Jack explained.   
  
"Oh, okay."   
  
Handing Jack her marker, Sam got up. Grabbing her tootsie rolls, she faced both Jack and  
Daniel. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've had enough of this room. I'm going to take my tootsie rolls  
and head back to my quarters. A rematch some other time, sir?"   
  
Reaching towards the table, Jack grabbed the lid to her marker. As he put it on, he spoke to  
her. "I'll see about getting a new VCR and movie."   
  
"Thank you, sir."   
  
Watching her walk out, Jack once again spoke up. "Oh and a rematch, anytime."   
  
Smiling to Jack, Sam left the lounge.   
  
"Rematch?" Daniel questioned as he figure he had missed something.   
  
Hearing Daniel's voice brought Jack out of his little world. He had been staring after Sam.  
Getting up off the couch, Jack walked back to the desk and dropped everything on it. Starting  
back pass the couch and Daniel, Jack stopped at the VCR. Unhooking it, he tucked it under his  
arm and started for the door. "Air force talk."   
  
"Oh," Daniel replied as he watched Jack leave the room. Shaking his head, he mumbled to  
himself. "Odd people." Taking a look around, he to left. He had to go find Teal'c and tell him they  
were on leave.   
  
**********  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
